Mom:
So... how ARE your classes? Doing well, I assume.
Frosh:
I'm gonna, like, fail everything.
Mom:
What do you mean? Do you need a tutor? Honey, just let us know.
Frosh:
No, I need my books.
Mom:
But you got all that loan money. And your dad and I have given you over $4,000. What did you do with it?!
Frosh:
No, I still have it. The teacher must have passed them out on the first day. I wasn't here, remember? You had to take me on your stupid cruise and now I don't have my stupid books because I wasn't here on the first day.
Mom:
Uh, Connor? You have to buy them.
Frosh:
Yeah, now that I missed the teacher passing them out. There must not be enough to go around. I'm not spending all my money on stupid books.
Mom:
Did you ask the others where they got their book?
Frosh:
No, they'll know I was dumb and missed the first day and so now I have to buy my books like a lame asshole.
Mom:
Don't swear. Didn't you know in college, you BUY your books? All of them. You have to buy them. They don't give them out like in high school.
Frosh:
No, I didn't KNOW that because you and dad never TOLD me. That's dumb. Why should I buy books? I hate books. It's the teacher's job to teach me stuff. If they want me to learn stuff from books, they should buy them.
Mom:
*looks around* Look, honey, the bookstore is still open! Let's go get you your books!
Frosh:
Whatever. Only if you get me an iPad to like, read them on.
They leave.
Me:
*looks up from typing this, facepalms* Did that just fucking happen?